How to Record Family Memories Before They Fade

Most families wait too long. Then a voice they know by heart is gone, and the stories go with it.

You do not need special equipment or a free weekend. You need one person, one phone and about twenty minutes.

This is how to start.

Start with one person and one short session

Pick the person whose stories you would miss most. Ask if you can record one conversation.

• Keep it to 20 to 30 minutes. Tiredness shows in the voice and the stories get thinner.
• Stop while they are still enjoying it. They will say yes to the next session.
• Plan several short sessions, not one long one.

My mum would talk on and on about her childhood in Hong Kong and Malta. When my sister and I were old enough to ask the real questions, we never did. I still wish we had.

Choose how to record

You have three sensible options.

• Voice memo on your phone. Free, simple and unobtrusive. This is enough for most families.
• Video. You keep their face and hands. Some people go stiff in front of a camera, so ask first.
• Writing. They write, or you write while they talk. It is slower, but some people prefer it.

Mixing them is fine. Whatever you choose, record the real voice if you can. The way someone tells a story is part of the story.

Set up the room

• Choose a quiet room with no television and no running tap.
• Put the phone on a table between you, not in your hand.
• Record ten seconds first and play it back. Check you can hear both voices.
• Switch the phone to aeroplane mode so a call does not interrupt.

Ask open questions, then be quiet

The best question starts with "tell me about".

• "Tell me about the house you grew up in."
• "What did you do on a Saturday when you were ten?"
• "What happened next?"
• "What did it smell like?"

Then stop talking. Silence feels long to you and short to them. Let them fill it.

Follow detours. The story you did not plan to hear is often the best one.

If you want a ready list, start with our questions to ask your parents about their childhood.

Use things they can hold

A photograph, a wedding ring or an old tin of buttons will unlock more than a question can.

• Sit with a few photographs and ask who is in them and where they were taken.
• Ask them to name the people. Names are the first thing to go.
• Write the names and dates on the back, in pencil, once they have told you.

Keep what you record safe

A recording is easy to lose.

• Name each file with the date and the person, for example 2026-11-02-gran-childhood.m4a.
• Copy it to a second place the same day: a laptop, a memory stick or cloud storage.
• Ask before you share. Some stories are theirs to keep private, and a few belong to other people.
• Let them skip a subject. If they say "not that one", move on and do not push.

Turn recordings into something you can keep

Recordings in a phone are fragile and hard to share. You have a few ways forward:

• Type out the best stories, or use a transcription app, and keep the audio alongside.
• Make a shared album of clips for the family.
• Print the best stories as a book.

If you would rather not run the interviews yourself, a guided interview does the asking. At Inchapters, the storyteller answers 14 chapters of questions in their own time, by speaking, typing or sending recordings they already have. You and the storyteller approve every chapter before anything is printed. The finished printed book has a QR code on each chapter that plays the original recording, so a reader hears their real voice.

If someone you love has already died, our page for families who have already lost someone explains how we can help.

Why I built Inchapters

My mum was creative and wanted to write, but she never got the chance, and she passed away at 50. I wrote Silent Screamer on her behalf, as an ode to her strength, and then realised how many questions I still had about her life before she was a mother: her family, and my grandparents' lives in Hong Kong, Malta and the other places they travelled to with my grandfather's naval postings. I built Inchapters to join my technology background to that missing piece of family history.

Questions people ask

How long should a recording session last?
About 20 to 30 minutes. Stop earlier if they tire. Several short sessions work better than one long one.

Do I need special equipment?
No. A phone voice memo is enough. Put it close, in a quiet room, and test it for ten seconds first.

What if they do not want to talk about something?
Move on. They decide what goes on the record. You can always return to it another day, or leave it.

Start this week

Pick one person. Book twenty minutes. Press record.

Who in your family will you sit down with first?